I'm still a fan. For at least the next week or so - then we'll talk.
But why must you hurt me in this way? Surely you know that I'm a true fan (okay, okay, I'll stop calling you Shirley)... I mean, we did shell out ridiculous money to get season tickets to see you... TWICE... we do schedule our lives around watching your games... (or so it feels)... I've bought into the fever with your clothing and merchandise... I've even eaten a $5 Haagen Dazs bar (there's a doohickey on top of the first A - I haven't bothered to add it on).. knowing that the actual cost is what to you, 50 cents... and how do you repay us?
By stinking it up on the ice, that's how.
I'll admit that you haven't been playing the worst hockey I've ever seen, but I think we can agree that it certainly hasn't been the best either. Don't get me wrong - I appreciate the effort you've been putting into the games. Maybe you just need to work a little harder on our relationship, so that I can stick by you even while I cringe through every excruciating minute of your games. Maybe if every once in a while, you acknowledged me as a true believer.
Those "We are all Canucks" ads are mildly convincing, but you've gotta admit that telling me we're in it together isn't really a solution when we're having these kinds of relationship difficulties. I need action. I don't want to leave you, but I'm going to have to if things don't improve. My emotions cannot handle this roller coaster of a season.
If you really want to make things better between us, try phoning me once in a while, or hey, here's an idea, how about NOT RAISING TICKET PRICES EVER AGAIN... I mean, I know you have to pay for that fancy scoreboard and all, but really, try to be reasonable. I don't need a fancy scoreboard. Just a little love and appreciation. You don't want us to have to go to counselling, do you? Because if we do have to go, I'm putting you on notice that you'll have to pay. I'm saving my money for more Haagen Dazs bars.