Monday, December 31, 2007

Auld Lang Syne

Ushering in the new year ... do you feel prepared?

Rarely do I make resolutions - why bother setting the standards high when I know I won't keep them - but this year I think I will definitely strive to be a little more patient, and a little less talkative. Pretty challenging not to talk, I always have a lot to say. But today someone told me that someone else told her (follow along, please) that I seemed to turn the conversation onto myself a lot. This caught me off guard, given that I had always thought the "someone else" did the exact same thing when we conversed. In fact I recall the specific conversation, and I recall the "someone else" asking me about my life, so why she would find it weird that I talked about myself, I just don't know.

But then again, the truth usually lies somewhere in between two people's perceptions.

I'm full of flaws, and often I can't stop thinking about those flaws. You might not know that about me. I don't like to show weakness. So of course, I am now mulling (ok, ruminating) over the fact (or perception) that someone thinks I talk about myself far too much.

Sometimes, I sort of hate who I am. So it's a good thing God's love for me is unconditional, and exists even when I'm tired of myself.

I'm tired of myself right now.

*EDIT... to respond to comments:

PJ: I think you've missed my point entirely. I never said that I like to talk about myself. Certainly, this blog is about me, it is my blog after all.

All I meant to say in this blog is that I have never thought I talked a lot about myself to that friend, but if that friend perceives that I did, maybe I will just have to keep a lot more TO myself in the future. That's all.

Sunday, December 23, 2007

Pondering the future

The hubby's extended family appears to be turning into Wii addicts. Tonight we enjoyed yet another family dinner. People have moved on from asking when we are going to have kids to asking when we are going to build our new house. Do not panic - we have no concrete plans to build a house. Do not ask me - we are not even going to consider it for a few more years. I have no idea where everyone decided we were going to build a house forthwith, but all sorts of (unsolicited? unhelpful?) advice came pouring in - such as, build now before you have kids! build it bigger so you have lots of room! build now because it will be expensive later!

I'm quite happy living where we are right now. Those close to me will know that it's a struggle just to keep our house clean - imagine living in a bigger house where the amount of surface area to clean would be staggering. I suppose the hubby's family is just excited or something at the idea that we might be expanding our humble abode, but if we had to keep up with the wealth of extended family, we would have to work several jobs each, and I'd probably have to start embezzling. We went to one family's house recently which felt like one of those dream-home-lottery houses ... I just felt uncomfortable the whole time, like I was dirtying the place just by walking through it. I'd rather live here and be proud of the fact that the hubby saved up for years on his own to be able to buy this place. I'd like to be proud when people come over and aren't horrified by what they see. I'd like to be content with what we have.

My personality isn't overly laid back, but I would like to think that I am learning to be content. This is applicable in many circumstances. The hubby is working toward a new career of sorts, and there is always the chance he won't like it, or maybe will like it but will find it very difficult, and money will be tight. Or maybe he'll want to be a stay-at-home dad if we have kids. (I highly doubt I will want to be a stay-at-home mom but I suppose anything is possible.) I would hope that I could learn to be content in any of those situations. In the past couple of years, I have learned that God is faithful and will always provide, if we put him first in our lives.

Two days until Christmas. The Lord is good - let us come and adore.

Tuesday, December 18, 2007


Age 4: I tell my mom I want to quit pre-school because all they teach is the alphabet, and I already know how to read.

Age 5: I watch my kindergarten teacher pull out my friend's loose tooth by tying floss around it, attaching the floss to the closet door, and closing the door.

Age 6: I am one of the tallest girls in grade 1. My teacher puts me in the fast learners reading group. These are unrelated issues.

Age 7: My brother and I convince my parents to get season passes to Expo 86. We proceed to go as often as possible. I remember the giant Swatch.

Age 8: I am taking piano lessons with my very scary teacher. She yells. Many times, I hold back tears until the end of the lesson.

Age 9: I am in a split class with a new teacher. I still spell better than all the kids in the class, including in the grade above me.

Age 10:
I put a poppy, pin side up, on the seat of a boy I hate. He sits on it, but the pin lodges between the "cheeks". I laugh - he doesn't.

Age 11: We move to a new house. My brother gets the room with the big windowsill, so I get to choose what side of the bathroom I want. It is not the same.

Age 12: I practice piano for 3 hours a day to get ready for my grade 10 piano exam. Sometimes, I read a book while practicing my scales, thinking my mom won't notice. She notices.

Age 13: Transition to grade 8 and a school where I know no one. I look around at all the nerds in my enriched classes and fear that I am more of a nerd than any of them.

Age 14: My team wins at Technolympics and is rewarded with the ugliest long-sleeve t-shirts I've ever seen. That's what you get for building the best 10-second timer and the longest, thinnest newspaper bridge.

Tuesday, December 11, 2007

Sleigh bells ring.. .maybe

When we were young, we used to spend most of our Christmases in Seattle with my aunts and their families. I loved Christmas in Seattle - my cousins were so much fun, and being the youngest, I got to take full advantage of the cute factor. Plus, my cousins let me "shop" in their closets, and gave me bags full of barely worn clothes. One of my aunts had a big fish tank in front of their fireplace, and I still remember how my uncle would move the fish tank the night before Christmas while we slept, so that in the morning he could point to it and say, "Look! Santa came and he moved the fish tank!"

I never actually believed in Santa, of course, but it was still amusing. My parents never encouraged a belief in Santa Claus - they taught us that Christmas was about the birth of our Saviour. It's probably safe to say that most "church babies" like me had similar experiences.

So I was a little surprised in the last week to find that Praise 106.5, my number one pre-set station in the car, was playing The Christmas Song (Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire.) It's a lovely song, but a part of it involves kids waiting for Santa and his sleigh full of goodies. I find it strange that a Christian music station would play such a secular song. It seems that Christmas is being watered down even in a Christian radio station. Very.... sad.

Two weeks until Christmas. I'm looking forward to some quality family time. My brother is coming back, yay! Also, we are hoping that the hubby's parents will come with us to Christmas Eve service at church - please pray that God will work in his family. Praise God for his unending love.

Monday, December 03, 2007

Things I would like to have

  1. Strawberry Chapstick. I don't know why, but Shoppers (and other stores) only seem to sell plain and cherry, which, yuck. I have only found strawberry at one particular store at UBC (Subcetera). Not being a student anymore has a downside.
  2. A saxophone. I still want to learn how to play one day. How hard can it be?? :)
  3. New computer.... although the rattling in this one seems to have stopped... yay!
  4. 24 Season 6 set. Gotta keep the collection going.
  5. A 16-20 oz. stainless steel tumbler, no handle. I have a "tall" size one already. What? I like hot drinks.