Wednesday, January 30, 2008

The dog's typical day at Mommy's work

First off let me just say that I wanted the dog to learn our real names rather than "mommy" and "daddy", however, I re-thunk that when I realized that if we have kids, our kids wouldn't be taught to call us by our real names. Thus - mommy and daddy it is.

Here is a typical day for the dog when she is my office dog.

7-7:30am - wake up and demand food. Unreasonable amount of whining while food is being prepared.
Pretend food has been withheld for years. Freak out when food is presented. Inhale food at ridiculous pace.
8-9am - ride in car. Whine and bark at mommy during car ride.
9ish - arrive at work. Run around in parking lot. Pee near tree or mommy's boss' car.
9-10ish - first nap. If lucky, nap for over 1.5 hrs. Thrash around in sleep, growl/bark during dreams.
11am - go outside for a walk.. Pee. Poop in random spot. Show little appreciation when mommy picks it up.
11:30ish - Fuss. Thrash around with toys. Get bored, whine, growl. Chew on chairs, papers, cardboard, metal, plastic. Lick floor. Hear "NO" about a thousand times.
11:30-12:30 - refuse to settle down. Fuss. Chew everything. Pretend to sleep, then fuss again.
12:30 - demand food. Again more whining and barking despite mommy's SHUSH. Jump on mommy despite OFF and NO. Sit when commanded to for food, but look unhappy. Eat at super fast pace. Return to bowl and discover that no food appears after the meal is finished.
1ish - second nap.
2:00 - wake up, go out, pee. Eat sticks and leaves. Investigate every fallen leaf. Eat several. Spit them up in mommy's office later. Go for walk around office.
2ish-3ish - more fussing. Feign interest in Christmas toys. Fight off sleep despite constant yawns. Growl at toys. Growl at mommy. Bark. Hear NO repeatedly. Decline to chew on Nylabone in favour of chewing on anything else.
3:00-4:00 - third nap.
4ish - wake up, go out, pee, poop, smell everything, eat sticks, pull on leash when told not to, cry when told not to pull on leash.
4-5ish - fourth nap.
5ish - fuss when put in crate, whine all the way home, bark at mommy when she does not provide treats in the car immediately upon demand.

Dogs... gotta love em.

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