Friday, July 04, 2008

What's in a name?

I happened to be reading a blog today where the discussion was on baby names. I always find these discussions entertaining. You wouldn't believe some of the names people think are neat. I get that parents want unique names for their children, but sometimes, maybe it just doesn't pay to be too unique. There's always someone who has to suggest a weird spelling, like "Allysyn" or "Johnothin". And then there are the names that would inspire a world of upsetting comments for the child.

Behold! A list of names I will never name my child, but which were suggested by many on the site/forum I was reading. Note - some of these are actual names of actual children!

Tuesday - would you not be tempted to shout, "IT'S TUESDAY" every time it was actually Tuesday? Wouldn't you be tired of questions like, "Why not Wednesday?" And must the child have to answer multiple times, "Were you born on a Tuesday?"

Puck - yes, Midsummer Night's Dream was a lovely play, but I can't see the wisdom in naming your child something so similar to a swear word.

Bastian - yet another similarity to an unfortunate word.

Fountain - um, no. What if the child happened to spit while talking? S/he would never live it down!

Pepper - first, everyone would snicker if the kid was asked if she wanted pepper on her food. Second, no. Just no.

Jem, as a middle name for a boy - are the Holograms coming???

Lulu - while the child is small and cute, this is a nice name. But imagine introducing yourself as an adult: "Hello, my name is Lulu" - it's just so hard to be taken seriously when you have a babyish name.

Casper - the Friendly Ghost? No, no, and no.

Oval - well, I suppose it's one step above Triangle or Circle...

Prosper and Zebben, or Abram and Skandar for twin boys - again, perfectly nice to have unique names, but Zebben?? Skandar? I just don't know.

Emberly - is it Emily or Kimberly? Why, it's both! Maybe Kimily would be next?

Babylon - I'm not a fan of place names as people names, but if you're going to use a geographical location, surely you could find a nation that opposed God a little less.

Faxon - sounds a little like an invisible gas that could kill you. Also, too close to a swear word.

Kason, Kedric, or Ethaniel - ah, the twisted spelling names! Not quite Jason, not quite Cedric, not quite Ethan or Nathaniel. Kason and Kedric are just bad names. Ethaniel is... weird.

Lzay, because it's similar to Lazy and Lizzie - why would you want your name to be similar to Lazy?

Modest or Patience - I suppose it's better than Lazy, but it would be rough to have to live up to your name all the time.

Granite, Onyx, or Lava for a "dark" name - all of those are horrible names. How sad. I would consider Lava for a dog, but not a human.

Sullen - might as well go with Bitter, Unhappy, or Miserable.

Karma Amelia - just try and stop yourself from singing the song.

Durian - boy oh boy. Not just a fruit, but a disgusting, smelly fruit. (Sorry, Em.)

I love my name - don't you love yours now too?


ArC said...

A quote from "30 Rock": "If it's a girl: 'Bookcase'. Or 'Sandstorm'. Or maybe 'Hat'... but that's more of a boy's name."

Tree said...

My sister knew a Lala, Lulu, Mimi, and Mumu -- and these are not nicknames. Plus, they are all over 20 yrs. old.