Wednesday, April 23, 2008

Straight up, she's a cold-hearted snake

American Idol ... why won't you leave me alone? I rarely watch Idol now but have managed to catch a couple of episodes this season. It's like a train wreck - I just have to keep an eye on what is going on because I'm so fascinated. Not because I particularly like it... although I do enjoy the audition portions still.

What I really could do without on Idol is the nattering, useless presence of Paula Abdul. My stars, the woman is crazy. When she isn't stumbling over her words like a drunk, she's throwing out unhelpful comments that add nothing at all to the show. You know what I'm talking about - "You look beautiful tonight" or "You really made that song your own" or "It was a little pitchy but you look beautiful tonight, all of you look beautiful tonight." I watched a couple of episodes of Hey Paula in an effort to try to understand her, but all I came away with was a strong sense that indeed, the woman has issues - whether they are alcohol-related or drug-related, I don't know. (But how can you not suspect it!? She had a breakdown over her makeup artist missing a flight! And she threatened to sue a reporter! And she sobbed about everything! And she stumbled over her words all the time, except when she was clearly scripted!)

So, on Tuesday, Brooke whatever her name is started her song, forgot the lyrics, and started again. Maybe you've heard about it. (Probably not - you probably don't care. Nonetheless.) Paula took an agonizing few moments of no speech at all to gear up and say "No, you just don't start and stop a song." When Simon was asked what he would have done in Brooke's position, he said he would have done exactly what she did, ie start and stop and start again. Paula then said, "I think you could have just sung something - just sung something, kept going, from your heart."

Oh, okay then. She should have just sung something from her heart! Instead of "You Must Love Me", should she have broken into her ABC's? Maybe the Oscar Mayer wiener lyrics? Perhaps she should have sung last week's song? Maybe she should have just made up the words entirely! Maybe a little "Rush Rush" or "Forever your girl" would have been appropriate?

Paula, you are clueless. Fox should have canned you several seasons ago. Who agrees with me!!!


Anonymous said...

paula is considered the best judge on the show, technically. even simon says so. clueless?? haha, no. and no offence, but when a person gets like 90 % of the attention, she is clearly considered very important for the show. nobody talks about randy and simon, except in idol recaps.

snerk said...

I allowed this comment only to make the point that not only is paula crazy, SO ARE HER FANS.

snerk said...

Also I can't believe "anonymous" actually did a search of blogs for "paula idol" in order to comment. Is there nothing better to do in Sweden? Maybe you're just mad because Ikea ran out of meatballs. I don't blame you - those meatballs are awesome.

Anonymous said...

How 'bout Paula's "Will You Marry Me?" cuz the chorus is super simple to remember. Just repeat "Will you, Will you, Will you marry me?" 5 millions times and you got the entire song.

Forgive me for my ignorance, but has Idol done a Paula Abdul greatest hits show yet?