Friday, June 16, 2006

Babies, babies, babies

Someone asked me today when we're planning to have kids, and I gave my standard "Not right now" answer. I don't mind being asked - I figure it's the natural thing to ask people once they are married - it's probably more "normal" to ask that than anything else, really.

I can't say I really know what the answer is, though. I'm pretty happy with things the way they are - just the two of us in our spacious-for-two-people-with-tons-of-stuff house, not having to think about the needs of a little person, you know ... I recently read a post about how women today grow up in a culture of self-serving - pursue your own goals, travel, live your life how you want, work as hard as you want, etc ... and how there's possibly a shift in the mindset towards stay-at-home-momship and such... and maybe that there's something to be said about self-sacrifice - giving up your own goals to further the needs of your kids.

I don't know how I feel about this. My mom was kind of a combo of stay-at-home and working - as a piano teacher she was able to stay at home while working, so we didn't spend much time in daycares or with babysitters except when we were really young. In my profession, I probably won't be able to spend most of my time working from home. The reality is that if I have kids, they'll probably spend at least 3 days a week in daycare. I can't even imagine giving up my career for my kids. No right or wrong to be alleged here - just random thoughts. Maybe I'm selfish, or perhaps I'm just going to present to my kids the option of having kids yet still having a full-time job.

Well, good thing we don't have to consider this issue for a few more years :D


vespertine said...

to me, what i think is important is to not be affected by what others deem as "right" or "wrong" the end of the day, these are personal choices and only relevant to the two of you...;)

em said...

What the Jr says is true...but I vote for the kids! Only if they're "little Y-vonnes"...I don't know if I'm (and by "I", I mean the rest of the world) ready for mini-rafs...*hee hee* ;)

Kiyah said...

Okay, this topic is right up my alley!! Being a new mom myself I struggled with the battle of career vs. motherhood. I guess for me the paradigm shifted the second my daughter entered our lives. You could say we took a leap of faith not knowing what we were up against and what to expect. Before I left work for mat leave I was already missing it -- sad to not be at the office but struggling because I knew I wanted to be a mom. And now as my mat leave days are quickly dwindling away, I often wonder what can I do to stretch out my time with my daughter. I guess each and everyone deals differently to the privilege of having kids. I assure you it's definitely a blessing and a privilege to be given a child to nuture and guide -- scary thought!! Whether you stay at home or have a career you will know best what works for your family. Who knows may be by the time you guys are ready to have kids Raf will be ready to be the stay-at-home dad? Is that a scary thought?