Squishy or spacious?

Just finished reading this article about families who have eschewed the suburban sprawl and larger homes with yards for small apartments in the heart of their cities. This article reminded me of the difference between my brother and I. I have never really desired to live in downtown, although I can see the attraction of living there (that is, if I also worked downtown.) My brother, on the other hand, would love to live in the city, or maybe a bigger city than our own. (No doubt he'll contradict me at some point during this post.)

I used to tell the hubby that I always dreamed about living in an apartment. I have no idea why I wanted to live in an apartment. Maybe it was a Seinfeld or Friends or Mad About You influenced idea. Of course, nobody in New York has apartments as big as on TV. Every time I go to Ikea, I marvel over the showrooms that proclaim, "Live comfortably in 455 square feet!" and display an entire family's life, squeezed into every nook and cranny of a small space. Chairs are folded and hang on the walls, beds are one step away from the kitchen, and the bathroom is right beside the fridge. Part of me is always tempted to try out living in a small space just to see if I can do it.

Of course, the problem is, I don't mind suburban sprawl. We live in a spacious part of the world where people can live in houses that have yards. And once you have a yard, and a BBQ, and maybe a few chairs to sit on outside - well then - why wouldn't you want that?

I can definitely understand that one reason for living in the city would be a commuting issue. I don't work in downtown, but when I have to go there, it does make me curse the traffic situation getting out of the burbs. (That is partly a problem with how the city and its outlying areas are designed.)

Maybe I am a little claustrophobic. In our old place, I didn't like how there wasn't much separation in the common areas, such that if hubby was on the phone, I'd have to turn down the TV (or turn up, if I wanted him to get off the phone!) I can't imagine sleeping in a closet just to make more room in the apartment for my kids, or sending my laundry out just to accommodate living in a smaller space. I am a homebody at heart; I think relaxing is best done at home rather than out at some restaurant or club or theatre. (I make exceptions for vacations. Those can only be done away from home. Preferably in some hot, sunny, tropical location.) Besides, it's hard to have a 60 lb dog in an apartment.

I hope this post doesn't come off as "la la la, I love my giant house"* ... instead, I think it's pretty amazing that many of us have the ability to choose our living circumstances. Whether it's living in a basement suite, an apartment, a townhouse, or a house, or with family or in-laws, many of us are fortunate to have a place to live at all. This is just my perspective. Sometimes I think it'd be awesome to live closer to the "action", to be in a more culturally and socially diverse area of the city. Other days, I think living in the suburbs is really pretty good.

Your thoughts?

*I don't have a giant house!

Politicky

We are often asked who we're going to vote for ... in the past week the hubby even received emails urging him to vote for one candidate (Conservative, of course.... the reasoning was that we need a strong Christian voice in Parliament.) Sometimes I wish the politics in Canada were more... polarized. I read an article that described Canada's politicians as "beige" and frankly I think that really fits. I feel like I know way more about the US election than I do about the Canadian one. (That's probably my fault, but I'll just blame the media. Just like Palin!)

I will tell you that I usually don't vote based on religious beliefs, either mine or the candidate's. I tend to think it isn't really relevant what a person believes if they are in political office. Separation of church and state, I guess.

This post has no real point ... but tell me ... how do you vote?

Tara W.

You were a roommate for a short time and it is because of you that I think having a roommate sucks. You took our other roommate's car and put a dent in it, then you "fixed" it, hoping she wouldn't notice. You left your bras lying around the kitchen and living room, you didn't like to clean, and you overcharged us on rent. Then, you tried to evict us even though you weren't even allowed to be subletting to us. I unplugged your telephone every single day just to irritate you. Childish, I know. Oh well.

Debris

Yesterday morning as I drove to work, I passed by a pile of shoes near the centre median of the highway. The shoes were strewn over a distance of probably 20-30 feet or so. As far as I could tell, they were mostly women's shoes, and included several pairs of Crocs (pink) and canvas Keds-like shoes (green and white). Have I ever mentioned my dislike for Crocs? I think it is because they make feet look super wide and I have a thing about how feet should never look wide. Also, they remind me of a hospital nurse's very sturdy/ugly work shoes... but with holes!

This morning, many of the Keds-like shoes were still there... but all of the Crocs were gone.

Could it be that someone crossed a busy highway just to snag those pink Crocs!?

Nancy

I met you in Montreal the summer after high school. We were both there to learn French, although somehow I got put into some sort of advanced class where half the students were Francophones, which I found kind of unfair. You were in a more normal class, so maybe you actually learned something. I lent you my jacket one night when you were cold and you somehow got blood on it... I don't really want to know. We spent our evenings hanging out at the 24-hour Second Cup and you were a great friend. Apparently you also hated your name, since I later learned that you changed it to something totally different - like Jennifer or some name like that.

M.

It's weird that my most vivid memory of you is that once, I was in the same restaurant as you, except you sat behind me and you couldn't see me.... I was with some friends you didn't know, so probably you didn't even guess I was there. I heard you talking with your boyfriend, not because I was eavesdropping, but because I heard my name. You were actually discussing my relationship with the now-hubby and how our relationship was probably going to fail. I was too chicken and non-confrontational at the time to turn around and say "Hello, is that me you're talking about, please stop", so I let it go.

You didn't ask for forgiveness (nor would you really have to, it was so minor) but guess what, I'm giving it to you anyway. Despite whatever some troll thinks of it.

If you're going to insult me

At least have the guts not to do it anonymously. I'm sorry I rejected your comments on my last post, "Anonymous", but this is my blog and I can write whatever I want AND reject whatever commentary I want. You're welcome to repost your comment (but not twice in a row, just hit the button once, genius) with your real name attached. Otherwise, feel free to move on. If you have something to say to me in person, I invite you to do so. I get that you think I'm not a very good Christian. Since there's no name attached to the comments, I can only assume that you are an internet troll.... using Shaw and living in Richmond.

C.

The year I got engaged, you kept asking me about the wedding and when you would get your invite. I wasn't sure if we should invite you because the four of us, we aren't great friends... but that year, you and I served together in ministry, so I thought it'd be rude not to invite you.

After I gave the invite to you, you didn't reply... so when the reply date passed, I had to ask if you and your husband were coming or not. You said that you would be out of town. No big deal, right? I found out today that after you received your invitation, you announced loudly to a group of our mutual friends that you would rather spend money on yourselves than attend our wedding or give us a gift, so you booked a trip to Portland as soon as you knew that you were invited. Maybe you were mad that we didn't give you a very big gift for your wedding (I was a student - it was all I could afford.) Who knows. I'm not offended that you didn't come, but what was the point of telling everyone that you'd rather go to Portland?

Well, you haven't asked me to, but I've decided to forgive you. You probably don't care, but if I don't let this go it'll just bother me forever.

Doris

You were shocked when you found out that I could barely speak Chinese, and you resolved to speak only Chinese to me for the rest of the year. As it turned out, I actually learned some Chinese because you wouldn't speak any English. Too bad it only lasted through high school!

Welcome, guests!

The hubby and I are finally ready to welcome out-of-town guests to our home, as we recently purchased a guest bed for a steal of a deal. Not an actual steal, but pretty darn close. Even cheaper than our own bed (Westin Heavenly Bed! - but without all the plushy goodness of duvets and pillows and shams and such), which I already thought was a fantastic deal. I love our bed, it's super comfy and it's tall enough that the dog can't jump on us in the morning (she's never tried - but she has tried to jump on my in-laws' bed at their house!) I also love our bedroom set because it was my first real grownup furniture.

But the problem is the height. I like it, but other people look at it and think "Wow! That's way too high!"

Well, future guests will be thrilled to know that our guest bed is EVEN HIGHER. Of course part of that is because we bought a bedframe that sits the bed about 10 inches off the ground. Even so, the mattress itself is at least 16 inches tall and the boxspring is pretty regular sized although we ordered a low profile boxspring. Can't complain though when we got a great deal. But it makes me laugh to imagine guests having to literally climb into their bed. Perhaps they could take a running leap.

I tried to convince the hubby that maybe we just don't need the boxspring, but he seems to believe that guests will really like having to jump into bed. Oh well. I'm sure it'll be a comfortable sleep, that is, when they aren't worried about toppling off.

I can't wait to have guests! Ahaha!

Kathy

I can't actually remember whether your name was Kathy or not, so I'll just call you that. You and I worked together and it was my first real job, so naturally I was intimidated. You were rude to me when I first started and I never enjoyed working with you after that. Once, I suspected you of stealing $20.00 from my till since I was *never* short by more than a few pennies. I later heard you were fired for stealing money on several occasions. Nice work.

Jennifer Y.

I remember admiring your thick, waist-length hair and wishing my hair was nice and straight like yours. You were always a sweet and friendly girl and you laughed at my jokes. In grade 7, you liked this boy and I told you to go for it ... but I neglected to tell you that I liked him too. At some ridiculous elementary school dance, I danced with him even though I knew you wouldn't be happy. Wow, I was a jerk.

Mrs. Challoner

You were my grade 2 teacher in a 2/3 split class. When we all wrote books for a class project, mine was based on The Ugly Duckling and was about a girl who felt ugly, but was actually beautiful. You asked me to read it to the class and I did. Maybe you thought the book was about me. Maybe it was. In any event, I was the only one who got to read my book out loud.

New feature on my blog!

Hello everyone!

In an effort to blog more, I'm going to attempt to participate in something that I think is called x365 or Blog 365 or something like that. The idea is to write one short post a day about one specific person in your life, past or present, and... really that's it. Just a few thoughts about that person, and then move on. I haven't signed up for anything official since the chances of me blogging every day are slim, but hey, it's worth a shot.

Hope you'll find it entertaining and maybe you'll even find yourself named at some point!

It's the little things in life

I wish I could blog about something intelligent, like the election situation in Canada or the US, or perhaps a book I've read lately, or maybe some environmental issue. Sadly, I have been completely unaware lately so I have no idea what is happening in the world. So instead, I will tell you about stress relief. I need a lot of stress relief these days. Here are the things that make me happy... or less unhappy at least.

- Coffee Crisp. Yum.
- chocolate - yum.
- dark chocolate mocha at Blenz in the morning. Yum. Expensive habit.
- playing with my dog
- shopping... for my dog :) (yes - she is spoiled. no - she doesn't wear clothing.)
- Pho subs. - yum.
- watching Heroes, The Office (we just got into this! hilarious!), HGTV shows, anything in HD...
- getting to and from work in under 45 minutes (rare)
- visiting the mall on lunch break
- not wearing heels all day long

Well, I could go on, but there's something good on TV right now....

Back to the grind, part the end

So, since my last post I have been living a stressful life with restless sleep and general unwellness. I do not know what is wrong with me but I am very, very tired. It is probably something to do with having to think all day long. My mind is just not made for that sort of work.

Okay, last time I told you some of the things I liked about university, so of course for completeness, I must now tell you what I did NOT like about university. I'll try to keep this brief and intelligible rather than just a rant blowing things way out of proportion.

1. Always feeling behind. Even my most studious friends would agree that it's extremely difficult to feel ahead or even on course with university classes. From day 1, I felt as though there was way more to do than there was time to do it all... and for me, that was just a totally unmotivating way to learn.

2. The campus from October to March. Mostly these months stick out in my mind as representing a soggy mess, irritating bus rides filled with soggy people and their dripping umbrellas, and the inability to get through a day without the bottoms of my jeans being completely drenched. Pleasant!

3. Labs. Oh my goodness, did I ever hate labs. First, often a lab meant working with a partner and not always one of your choice. Second, the total randomness of achieving an acceptable lab result. Third, the HOURS this sucked out of my day. Blah blah lac operon E. coli blah blah bacteria blah blah no thank you!

4. My PoliSci class. I took this in an effort to boost my marks, but ended up with a 60. Yes, that is right, a 60. This is an impressive mark, although it is still less impressive than my Immunology mark. I have managed to forget almost everything about this class except for the terrible haircut my prof had.

5. Keeners. You know the type, the ones who always have a question, or who always have an answer, or who always raise their hand even if they have no clue. A friend once suggested playing Keener Bingo and I believe this meant that if you observed someone raise their hand three times in one class, you were to stand up and shout "BINGO!" I never did this.... too bad.

6. People with weird habits that disturbed me. Once, I sat next to a guy who sniffed for the entire hour of class. Not runny nose sniffling... just a continual sniff. I decided he was probably having a reaction to some sort of illicit, snorted drug. Another time, I had to ask the guy behind me to quit writing so hard on his desk. (This makes me sound crazy, but bear with me.) It was during an exam and he was writing on one thin sheet of paper with a mechanical pencil and nothing underneath the paper. And, it appeared that he was extremely passionate about whatever he was writing. The scratching and tapping was really grating inside my head. At the break, I asked him to please slip a few sheets under his paper. He complied, but I'm sure he thought I was insane. Perhaps this item is really just a reflection of my own intolerances, but hey, this is my blog, not yours.

7. Telereg. This probably doesn't exist any more, but anyway. We had to register for classes using a telephone. (If any of you oldies are out there, yes I agree that this was one step up from having to physically run to each building to register, but still.) I remember having to employ two phone lines and a cellphone starting two minutes before registration time. Oh, the agony of punching in the code for the class you wanted, only to have the system stall for five silent minutes before telling you that you were unsuccessful, and then freaking out because you didn't have a backup plan.

Boy, it's a good thing I haven't decided to pursue another degree, I don't think I could handle more university. Jo, you have my infinite respect. And you too, godbrother. And the rest of y'all who are more studious than me. Which would be - everyone.

Back to the grind

It's been a rough week back at work... I'm so tired. But as tired as I am, I'm grateful that at least I am not back at university. Sometimes people assume that I loved school, probably because I was there for so long. Those people even assume that I worked hard at school. I think I can hear my family laughing right now. Shush, family! Haha.

In an effort to be a little more cheery, I'm going to tell you some of the things I enjoyed about university:

1. The buildup to first year. At the time, lots of church folk were attending university and I was excited to eat lunch with them, to experience "free stuff week", to be one of the cool older folk, to study in the bowels of Koerner... um yeah. None of that really happened for me. Free stuff week? Not all it was chalked up to be. Lunch plans were sparse, and I was never cool. Oh and I think I can count on one hand the number of times I studied downstairs at Koerner. In short, blown expectations - but at least I enjoyed the anticipation.

2. Learning that science was not for me. Of course, I had to complete an entire degree to find this out, but hey, what's four or five years out of my life!

3. Figuring out how to bus everywhere, including at least four routes that would take me home. If only there had been a u-pass from the very beginning.

4. Having some classes with friends, including Anatomy and Molecular Biology with a couple of good friends (Drosophila!) and Immunology with my godbrother (what were we thinking!) and, um, maybe that's it. I had a lot of fun in those classes, possibly because I wasn't paying a lot of attention. (See? Science just isn't my cup of tea.)

5. Planning my wedding during my last year of school while also working 16-24 hours per week, yes, at school. I'm good at the multi-tasking.

6. Working at a campus job - seriously, if students out there need money, find a campus job. You're there anyway, you might as well work and earn far more than minimum wage. I paid my way through school by working on campus every summer and, of course, living at home. Thanks Mom :)

7. The campus in September. So lovely. Green grass, sunny days, not having to wear a jacket... too bad it all becomes crummy and wet come October.

8. Graduating - twice - and getting the heck out of there!

Conflict amplification

What do you do when you don't like someone's personality?

There is someone I'm thinking of who I can't stand right now. I will call this person X. I can't stand X. X talks too much. X thinks certain jokes are funny when they should barely be called jokes in the first place. X interferes with normal goings on and doesn't understand that change for the sake of change is unnecessary and time-consuming.

There is another person I can't stand. I will call this person Z. Z is annoying. Z thinks Z knows more than anyone else in the world, but in truth, Z knows very little. Z is just difficult to get along with.

Z and X get along okay, but each thinks the other isn't as clever as they make themselves out to be.

As for me - I wish I could resolve things, but I feel like I'm stuck in the middle between Z, X, and the other more reasonable people in my life. The conflicts are getting worse, not better. The problem is, you can't change a person's personality. They are stuck with whatever personality they have chosen to adopt and you either have to like it or lump it. Very depressing.

I'll try to post something more exciting next time I post... :)

Environmental living

I wish I could say that we've got the green living thing down pat. I wish our house was powered by wind or the sun, or that I walk or bike everywhere. No, although we have taken some steps to lessen our lives' impact on the earth, we are far from fully there. We drive hybrids, but that is as much about saving money as it is about lowering emissions. One of the challenges of living a greener lifestyle is cost. It's often much cheaper to buy non-organic food or even non-local food. A hybrid vehicle is a huge initial investment, and some have speculated that they won't necessarily save money in the long run because of their initial price. Want to buy something that is non-toxic or chemical-free? Often, it's more expensive. It's a bit like the debate surrounding eating healthier... fresh fruit and veggies are so pricey compared to the inside of the store. (Someone once told me that the healthiest t way to shop a grocery store is to go on the outside only, to get to the produce, dairy, bakery, etc. and avoid the inside, filled with delicious processed products.)

Anyway. One thing we are doing this coming fall is buying half a cow from a local farm that has grass-fed, Angus (mixed with something else) cows. (Yes, the family from "Jon & Kate Plus 8" also bought half a cow - that isn't what made us do it!) The grass isn't sprayed, so the beef is organic. The cows don't eat grain, so their meat is supposed to be leaner and healthier for you. More Omega 3's or something. Frankly I was just enamored by the idea of buying half a cow. Call me crazy. (and call me if you want the name of the farm!)

I'm also on the lookout for organic/local chicken.... but while the beef is quite reasonably priced, it seems that locally produced chicken is not quite as cheap. Local produce is somewhat more accessible in the summer due to the farm markets and such. I've been thinking about going to the Avalon Dairy store that Chris mentioned, but the hubby thinks Avalon milk is overpriced. I'm sure it's a lot more than buying Lucerne or Dairyland, but maybe the hormone-freeness of it is worthwhile.

On the home front, we changed almost all our lightbulbs to CFLs. Saving money, but again with a larger initial investment. We also signed up for a water meter and we are always looking for ways to save water. Apparently in our city, you are not actually supposed to have low-flow toilets - this is just anecdotal information though. So, we'll have to settle for shorter showers and such. I've stopped using my dishwasher because it sucks. SUCKS. I should have gotten a new one, but I was too cheap. Half the time, this one doesn't seem to open the detergent holder's lid early enough so the detergent just clumps up instead of being used. I do try to save water while washing dishes. I sometimes will fill up a sink with hot soapy water and then use the other sink for rinsing. Other times I pile up the dishes, give a few seconds of rinse, then wash them without much water, just a wet soapy sponge. I think it's a miracle that I do any dishes, though :)

We also have a front load washer, which saves a lot of water and detergent. The matching dryer, however, seems to take longer than the old one ... I'm considering whether to hang my clothes outside, but that seems too public, you know? Anyway.

Anyone have a great environmentally friendly tip?

Etiquette

Let's say you are invited to a party at someone's house. Let's say it's not a house you've ever been to before, you know the sort of party I mean, where you are either good friends but not close friends, or relatives but not close relatives. In fact, imagine that it's the first time many of the guests have been there. Sort of an unofficial housewarming, officially just a summer BBQ. Let's say that the hosts specifically say "No gifts" in the invitation. What do you do? Bring something or not? Buy a gift? Give a gift card? Nothing at all?

I think it's just the way I've been raised, but my instinct is always to bring SOMETHING to someone's house unless it's just a whole bunch of close friends (sorry, close friends! you know I love ya!) Before we were married, we used to just tag along on gifts with the in-laws... but I would never do that now. These days, if I received that sort of invite from a good friend, I would either buy something small, or give a gift card... from a friend I didn't know as well, I would bring a nice box of chocolates or some fruit. If it was from a relative, I would probably give a red pocket of money or a gift card. (I can just hear my brother saying "But they said no gifts!! That means no gifts!!") I know! But you see, I would feel totally awkward showing up empty handed.

So, of course, the reason I'm asking is because this happened to us. Obviously I won't give a ton of details, but essentially someone came to our house without a gift. Now, I must say at the outset that this in itself doesn't offend me in the least.. We specified no gifts, but some people just chose to ignore that and brought a little something anyway. I have no problem with someone not bringing a gift, especially since we said no gifts. If you know us, you know we are brimming over with stuff anyway! But what happened to tip me over the edge is that this person came in, and the first thing they said wasn't "Nice place!" or "How's it going!" or even "Weird colour choices!". The first thing they said was, "Oh, sorrrrrry, I didn't bring a gift!" I can't make the tone of the voice show up, but it was quite flippant.

I know I shouldn't be offended. And yet somehow I still am. Maybe it's just that the relationship between this person and the two of us is already a little tense. Or maybe I am just a total jerk. I can't figure it out.