His grace still amazes me

My mom just told me about a passing in our extended, extended family.... it was very sad because it was incredibly sudden and unpredictable. The older I get, the more I realize how life is short and how we can never really know when it is our time to go. Today, I drove a portion of highway where there are always several memorials set up, most recently one for a 17-year-old. The other day, I read about a girl whose wedding was 7 days after my own, but who didn't even make it to her second anniversary because her melanoma finally took her life. I'm also reminded that it has been just about 18 years since God took my dad to heaven, and a few years since He called one of the Whammies home too.

People often ask why God allows these things to happen, why things like illness and suffering exist. Age old questions, I suppose. I don't think I have the answer. I don't think any of us does. Can there be any explanation to satisfy someone who has lost a friend, a family member, the love of their life? I remember when people would sometimes tell me that God had a reason for taking my dad when he did ... and I remember thinking that whatever the reason was, it sure didn't seem like a good one.

I attended a wedding rehearsal today and found it (as always) a little bittersweet to see the bride walking down the aisle with her dad. I wondered for a moment why God hadn't allowed my dad to walk me down the aisle.

These are just all musing thoughts, and again, no real answers. I guess all I can say is that I still have hope and faith in my Savior. I still believe that he is faithful and that in the end, this life I've lived will make some sense. All of the suffering people now have will one day come to an end, to be replaced by joy and praise and eternal life. God's omniscience will always trump my own knowledge. It isn't so much why do we suffer, but where do we turn for strength when we do suffer, where do we go when we are broken, who can heal the pain.

This is the hymn we sang at our wedding - we don't sing it much in worship any more, but I find the lyrics to be a real comfort.

My faithful Father, enduring Friend
Your tender mercy’s like a river with no end
It overwhelms me, covers my sin
Each time I come into Your presence
I stand in wonder once again

CHORUS:
Your grace still amazes me
Your love is still a mystery
Each day I fall on my knees
Your grace still amazes me
‘Cause Your grace still amazes me

Oh, patient Saviour, You make me whole
You are the Author and the Healer of my soul
What can I give You, Lord, what can I say
I know there’s no way to repay You
Only to offer You my praise

Much better secrets

Have you ever been to Post Secret? Probably almost everyone has heard of this site, but for those who haven't, it's a project where people anonymously mail in postcards, usually handmade, on which they have written whatever secret they wish to share. Every Sunday, new secrets are posted. There are also books, but I'm too cheap to buy a whole book full of other people's secrets.

I do, however, visit the site every once in a while and I must admit that it's become a bit of a favourite for me. Maybe it's voyeuristic of me, but I find the secrets fascinating, and usually, a little upsetting as well. Some of the secrets are variations on events in my own life, or thoughts I have had before. I wonder about the person who has taken the time to send in a secret - does he feel relieved? does she check the site to see if the secret was posted? is he now going to tell a real person his secret? is she languishing out there, alone, with no hope? Do they struggle with these secrets, hoping that someone will figure out that the secret is theirs?

I wish I could share the hope that I have in Christ with some of those secret-holders.
I also wish I had the courage, the creativity, the eagerness to send in a secret.
And most of all I hope that posting a secret really does provide release and a renewed spirit. After all, Jesus came and gave his life not so that we could be alone and sad, but so that we could have life, and have it to the full.

Almost Paradise

It's funny how life has a tendency to run along without you even really noticing that time has gone by. I've had a busy few weeks and yet no matter how busy I am, there are always many more things to do and in my case, many things left undone. I'd love to tell you that I have a super clean house, an organized desk/office at work, and not a scrap of paper in my inbox. I think you'll all agree that these are goals worthy of aspiring to. Alas, my disorganized mind spreads itself into my surroundings, slowly but surely building up piles of undone work. It's not a good thing, people.

I'm currently trying to work on a factum. It's been a while since I've had to work on one of these.... I suppose it's been around 4 years, since first year law. My brain has turned to mush.

Hey, so have you been wondering how our new car is? Because it is fabulous! Oh, the little gas it uses. Every car should be a hybrid. Or better. I don't like to have to think that $1.14/L is cheap for gas. IT IS NOT.